Honoring the Ones We’ve Lost

If you’ve found your way here, it’s likely because you’ve lost a beloved companion – a soul who walked beside you through joy, heartache, and everything in between. The world is full of people who may not understand. They may tell you “it was just a dog,” “just a cat,” or “they had a good life.” But we know the truth: losing them can feel like losing a piece of your heart, as profound and shattering as losing a family member – even a child.

Your grief is not silly. It is not an overreaction. It is love with nowhere to go. Here, we honor that love. We offer a place where your pain is understood without question, where you can speak their name, share their story, and keep their memory alive. This is a space for tears and for healing – for remembering the joy they gave you and the gratitude they left behind.

You are not alone.

Pet Loss Through Tragic Circumstances

Sometimes loss comes out of nowhere. A sudden accident, a tragic turn, a moment you never saw coming. Alongside the shock and grief, there can be waves of guilt, regret, and relentless “if only…” thoughts. It can feel like you’re drowning in what happened.

Here, you’ll find a place without judgment, where we understand that tragic loss is not a reflection of how much you loved or how well you cared for them. You are not alone in this pain.

It’s My Fault

If you believe your pet’s passing was because of something you did or something you didn’t do, the weight of that belief can be crushing. You may replay the moment in your mind a thousand times, wishing you could change just one thing.

This space is for you. Not to excuse or erase what happened, but to help you see it in the full truth: that love and intention matter, that accidents happen even to the most devoted pet parents, and that forgiveness, especially for yourself, is part of healing..

No One to Talk To?

Grief can feel heavier when you have no one who truly understands what you’ve lost. If you find yourself in that place, hurting in silence and wishing for someone who truly gets it, you’re not alone.

We may not be trained counsellors, but we are people who have loved and lost our own animals, and we know how deep that pain can run. If you need a listening ear, you can reach out to one of us. Sometimes, simply talking to someone who won’t minimise your grief can be the first step toward healing.

For Veterinarians

Veterinarians don’t just care for animals, they carry the weight of their lives and deaths. Day after day, they treat illness, heal wounds, and celebrate recoveries. They also face the heart-wrenching reality of saying goodbye far more often than most people could bear. The bonds they form with the animals they care for run deep, and every loss, whether sudden or expected, leaves a mark.

To the public, it’s easy to see vets as strong, unshakable professionals. Behind the calm voices and steady hands are people who absorb an immense amount of emotional strain. Euthanasia decisions, grieving clients, and the quiet moments after the clinic door closes can take a heavy toll. This emotional labour is compounded by the pressure to always appear compassionate, composed, and ready for the next patient.

We want non-vets to understand this: our veterinarians are more than medical professionals. They are guardians of our animals’ well-being, and the emotional cost of that calling is high. Compassion fatigue, burnout, and grief are real and serious issues in veterinary medicine.

If you are a veterinarian struggling with loss, stress, or emotional exhaustion, please know you are not alone and your feelings are valid. We encourage you to seek professional counselling, not as a sign of weakness, but as an act of strength and self-preservation. If you’re unsure where to start, reach out to us and we will help connect you with a counsellor who understands the unique challenges you face.

Grief Support

Will I Ever Get Over Losing Them?

When a beloved pet dies, the world doesn’t just lose “an animal.” You lose a friend, a confidant, a constant presence woven into the rhythm of your days. The silence where their bark, meow, or footsteps used to be can feel deafening. In those first days and weeks, it’s hard to imagine ever feeling whole again.

People around you might expect your grief to fade quickly. They might say, “You’ll get over it,” as if there’s a finish line for love. The truth is, you don’t get over a bond like this. You learn to carry it differently. Over time, the pain often softens, but it never disappears entirely, because the love never does.

Healing is not about forgetting. It’s about remembering without breaking. Some days you’ll find yourself smiling at a memory instead of crying over it. Other days, the grief will still hit like it’s brand new. Both are normal. Both mean your heart still remembers.

You are not weak for still missing them. You are not “overly sentimental” for still feeling the ache years later. That love shaped you, and its absence has reshaped you again. The goal isn’t to stop missing them, but to find ways to let their memory keep lighting your life instead of darkening it.

Did They Know I Cared?

One of the cruelest tricks grief plays is the endless replay of “Did they know?” in your mind. Did they know how much you loved them? Did they feel safe in their final moments? Did they understand they weren’t “just a pet” to you, but family?

The answer is yes. Absolutely, yes.

Animals may not understand words the way humans do, but they are experts at reading hearts. They knew your voice, your touch, your scent. They knew the routines you built for them: the way food appeared, the walks happened, the cuddles came without asking. They felt the comfort in your presence, the joy in your laughter when they played, the way you never left them behind when it truly mattered.

They lived their lives in the certainty that they belonged to you. That trust alone speaks volumes about how much they felt your love. If they ever shied away, misbehaved, or seemed afraid, it wasn’t because you failed them. It was simply because life has moments of fear and pain for all living beings. But the constant in their world was you.

So yes, they knew. They knew in the way they leaned against you, the way they followed you from room to room, the way their eyes softened when you were near. Love like that doesn’t go unnoticed. It was as real for them as it was for you.

But They Were So Young

Losing a pet is always heartbreaking, but losing them far too soon can feel almost unbearable. It’s not just grief; it’s grief tangled with shock, anger, and the ache of all the moments you thought you’d have but never got. The empty bed, the unused toys, the milestones that will never be reached, they all scream of a future that was stolen.

Whether it was illness, an accident, or something we can’t explain, the loss of a young pet often leaves us feeling robbed, helpless, and desperately searching for answers. You might find yourself wondering what you could have done differently, or replaying the “if onlys” in your mind. That’s normal. It’s part of trying to make sense of something that simply isn’t fair.

But here’s what matters: in the time they had, your pet lived. They played, they explored, they learned the smell of your clothes and the sound of your footsteps. They felt safety, love, and joy. These are things many animals never get to experience at all. The length of a life doesn’t define its value. Some lives burn bright and short, but leave a light in our hearts that never truly goes out.

Your grief is valid. Your anger is valid. And it’s okay to take as long as you need to heal from a loss that came too soon.

When Goodbye Comes

The Hardest Part of Love

No matter how many years you’ve had together, it always feels too soon. One day they’re curled up beside you, breathing softly in sync with your heartbeat, and the next you’re faced with the reality that your time together is ending. It’s the moment every pet owner fears, the one we try to push out of our minds for as long as we can.

Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is one of the hardest acts of love you will ever give. Whether the decision is yours, to spare them from pain, or it’s taken from you suddenly, it shatters something deep inside. You’re left trying to find the balance between wanting to keep them with you forever and knowing that letting them go is the kindest choice.

It’s okay to cry until your chest aches. It’s okay to feel relief that their suffering is over; that doesn’t mean you loved them any less. And it’s okay if you need days, weeks, or years before you can even speak their name without breaking.

When goodbye comes, remember this: your pet didn’t measure your love in years. They knew it in every meal you fed them, every game you played, every gentle word you spoke, and every safe place you made for them. You gave them a good life. And that is the gift that stays, long after the goodbye.

When to Put Down

There comes a point in many pet owners’ lives where love takes on a form that feels impossible: choosing to let go. Knowing when that time has arrived is one of the most agonizing decisions you’ll ever face, and there’s rarely a clear, black and white answer.

Sometimes the signs are obvious: a beloved pet no longer eats, can’t move without pain, or struggles to breathe. Other times it’s the slow erosion of joy, the loss of interest in play, in walks, in greeting you at the door, that tells you their quality of life is slipping away.

Veterinarians can guide you with medical facts and prognosis, but ultimately, you know your companion’s spirit better than anyone. This decision is not about giving up; it’s about protecting them from prolonged suffering when there’s no realistic path back to comfort.

A useful question to ask yourself is: Am I keeping them here for their sake, or mine? There is no shame in either answer, only honesty and compassion. Saying goodbye is not a betrayal of love; it is love in its most selfless and heart-wrenching form.

When the moment comes, know that you are not alone. Many of us have walked this same painful path and can say with certainty that making the choice to end a pet’s suffering is one of the greatest final gifts we can give them.

Signs It May Be Time

While no checklist can replace your personal bond with your pet, these indicators can help guide the decision and open conversations with your vet:

• Persistent Pain - Pain that can’t be managed with medication, or only temporarily relieved before returning.

• Loss of Mobility - Difficulty standing, walking, or getting to food, water, or the litter box/yard.

• Chronic Breathing Problems - Struggling for breath or frequent coughing/wheezing.

• No Interest in Food or Water - A significant drop in appetite that persists beyond a few days.

• Loss of Joy - No longer engaging in favorite activities or showing interest in family members.

• Incontinence or Loss of Bodily Control - When hygiene and dignity can’t be maintained despite your best efforts.

• Frequent Hospital Visits - Conditions requiring constant medical intervention with little improvement.

• More Bad Days Than Good - If you’re keeping a calendar, the “good days” have become rare.

Tip: Many owners find it helpful to keep a simple quality-of-life journal for their pet, noting good and bad days, symptoms, and small wins. It can make an emotional decision a little more fact-based when you’re deep in the storm.

After They’re Gone

What to Do with the Body

Losing a pet leaves you with a deeply personal choice about their final resting place. This decision is often made in a haze of grief, so it can help to know your options ahead of time:

Botswana

• If your pet passes away, options depend on local by-laws and whether an infectious disease is suspected.

• Home burial (small pets) - In Gaborone, you may bury a dog, cat or other small pet on your property if you bury deep enough to prevent smells/scavengers and any health risk; if you mark the grave, do so respectfully. Council can direct another method/site if needed. Check your own council’s rules.

• If disease is suspected (e.g., rabies) - Do not move the body. Contact a vet or the Department of Veterinary Services; disposal must follow official instructions, and movement may need a permit in any declared infected area.

• Cremation/clinic handling - When a vet or third-party facility handles remains, they must use licensed carriers/facilities under the Waste Management Act (clinical waste). Ask your vet which licensed provider they use.

• Transport of a pet’s remains is normally allowed, but movement out of a declared infected area requires DVS authorisation.

Keepsakes

You may choose to keep a part of your pet close to you through:

• Paw print impressions

• Nose print impressions

• Locks of fur

Other Countries

• Home Burial - If your property and local laws allow it, you may wish to bury your pet in a favorite spot. This can be accompanied by a small ceremony and a marker.

• Pet Cemetery - Offers a dedicated, cared-for space where you can visit and leave tributes.

• Private Cremation - Your pet is cremated alone, and the ashes are returned to you in an urn or keepsake.

• Communal Cremation - Multiple pets are cremated together, and ashes are not returned.

• Aquamation (Water Cremation) - An environmentally friendly alternative available in some areas.

• Veterinary Arrangements - Many vets can handle your pet’s remains respectfully if you don’t wish to manage the process yourself.

Disclaimer: This information is provided as a general guide. Laws and by-laws may change, and local councils or DVS may have additional requirements. Always check with your local council, vet, or the Department of Veterinary Services for advice specific to your situation.

What Religions Say About Animal Afterlife

Across Botswana, and the world, people draw comfort from their faith when a beloved pet passes. While the beliefs differ, the common thread is that animals hold meaning beyond their physical life, and that love shared does not end with death.

Christianity

Many Christians believe that God’s creation includes all living things, and some interpret scripture as suggesting animals will be present in the renewed creation or “heaven.” For those who believe “all good things are restored,” the idea that pets await us brings deep comfort.

Islam

Islamic teaching emphasises kindness to animals and that all creatures praise God in their own way. While the Qur’an does not explicitly detail an animal afterlife for companionship, it describes a final gathering of all beings before God’s judgement.

Hinduism

In Hindu thought, animals are part of the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth (samsara). A pet may be seen as a soul on its own journey, potentially reborn into another form.

Traditional Setswana Beliefs

Among some Tswana traditions, animals, particularly those closely tied to humans, are seen as part of the community and the balance of life. Death may be viewed as a transition to the spirit world, where ancestors and the spirits of animals are honoured.

Other Faiths & Personal Beliefs

Many people blend elements from multiple faiths or hold personal spiritual views, such as the “Rainbow Bridge” concept, where pets wait joyfully for their humans in a place free from pain.

Whatever you believe, your love for your pet is not diminished by death and the comfort you take from faith, tradition, or personal spirituality can be an important part of healing.

Note: AATFB does not promote one belief system over another. This section is intended to share perspectives so you can reflect on the ones that bring you peace.

Helping Surviving Pets Cope

When one pet passes away, the animals left behind can experience grief too. They may not understand why their companion is gone, but they feel the change deeply. Just like people, they may go through periods of confusion, sadness, or even depression.

Signs of grief in pets may include:

• Loss of appetite or eating less than usual

• Sleeping more or appearing lethargic

• Restlessness or pacing, especially if they seem to be searching for the missing pet

• Increased clinginess or separation anxiety

• Withdrawal from play or interaction

How you can help:

• Maintain routine – Keep feeding times, walks, and play consistent. Predictability provides comfort.

• Offer extra affection – Gentle attention, grooming, and calm presence can reassure them.

• Allow them to process – Some pets may sniff or search for their companion; this is normal and can be part of their adjustment.

• Encourage activity – Play, walks, and mental stimulation can lift their mood and reduce stress.

• Consider companionship carefully – Some pets adjust better with a new companion, while others need more time before introductions.

When to seek help:

If your surviving pet refuses to eat for more than a couple of days, shows prolonged distress, or develops new health issues, consult your veterinarian. Grief can sometimes weaken their immune system or worsen underlying conditions.

Note: Losing a pet affects the whole household, humans and animals alike. By recognising their grief and supporting them through it, you can help your surviving pets feel safe, loved, and secure again.